sometimes i talk to my mind late at night

its already 1 freaking am..tomorrow, i am going to wake up on the wrong side of the bed (=FACT)..Well I have done so much since I have come from Vegas (which I still need to tell about). My luggage is still unpacked, letter ungiven to angelica, my closet a mess by each passing day. SO mayyybee, i haven't done much since i've gotten back to Los Angeles County, but let me tell you something....when it comes to the $$$ side of my life, I am totally improving. I have sought out several gigs and I am loving it! I don't want to jinx my good luck, but let's just say I am going to be my own boss...woo woo! well actually I am! This all started out when I laid on my bed one late night....oh yes, one of those memoirs, my bed, my mind and I.

::FLASH back to the previous week...::

"jesus, mary and joseph!" I gasped, "I am 19 years old! What am I doing at this age looking for a job!! degree-less too! shakira already had a school for poor south american children at that age"

"YOU should be MRS baby johnson and johnson(not to the girl that just died but to that hunk that was 19 when i was 13! Google him hes something alright)" my mind replied back.

"forget it mind, that was just a tween dream, (not jonas brothers BS but and actual guy that was perfect for me, financially anyways...) I need BIGGER & BETTER standards AND i already have my bebe, unexpected but totally lucky!!"

"well you can try and look for an hourly job" my mind suggested hoping to have come up with a useful idea...


"no! mind! dont think like that i am much better than that, sure im struggling to pay my school, but you really think 9 dollars per hour is going to pay for a private higher education...???I AM A DOUBLE MAJOR WITH A MINOR IN THE ARTS!!!! do you have any idea how many zeros before the decimal exist in that semester bill!!"

"...HOW ABOUT YOU TURN OUR UNKNOWN SKILLS INTO PROFESSIONS??!?..." my mind yelled, tired of all my opposition to previous suggestions.

and just like that a light bulb turned on!

::back to non imaginary reality/point::

Sometimes, you just need to see yourself as a human being who has an opinion in society. Someone that can be taken seriously. Some people, like myself, are too scared to go out into the world and try because they might "give up." But you know what that is what life is about, trying to be productive in society while maintaining that head up high. So some people won't take me seriously at 19, so what? I'm still a rockstar! (hahaha Pink, get it?) There are alot of people, like your family and friends that do believe in you and want you to succeed. And if you fall along the way, well you just pick yourself up, emotionally, and learn from that situation and avoid that same metaphorically-speaking fall from happening again.


You have to live to learn.